In May of 2018, the state of Oklahoma passed a law that gave child placement agencies the authority to refuse to send kids to situations that violate the agency’s religious or moral convictions. Critics say this makes it harder than ever for L-G-B-T families to adopt. Conservative groups have long argued that same-sex couples cannot raise children as well as straight parents.
But I had a different experience.
I grew up in a family with two loving parents, who met in college, fell in love, bought a house, and raised two well-adjusted kids. We even had the family pet. There’s only one thing that separates my family from everyone else: I have two moms.
It doesn’t take a man and a woman to raise a child to treat people fairly and become a functioning member of society, despite what groups like the Family Research Council say. It just takes love, care, and hard work. The American Psychological Association says these traits aren’t unique to straight parents, with same-sex families just as likely as heterosexual ones to provide a stable home.
One of the major criticisms of same-sex families is the lack of role models for one gender. My moms raised me, their son, with no major male role models present all the time like a father would be. I like to think I turned out alright. A 2012 study published in the Gender and Society journal backs me up. The study found that male children in lesbian-headed families had no adverse psychological effects despite the lack of male role models.
But there’s one piece missing in my parents’ love story: marriage. Because of how the law worked when they decided to start a family, I had to be adopted one of my moms. The circumstances of my parents relationship never changed how hard they worked to be good parents. I love my moms and as I’ve grown up I value even more the loving home I grew up in.
And here’s what may be the most telling thing: of all my parents’ exclusively straight siblings, every single one has been divorced at least once. The only ones who remain, happily together since 1988 and married since 2014, are Becky and Lisa, the women I’m lucky to call my moms. I’m Wyatt Barmore-Pooley.
